For better and for worse, my stint in India is rapidly coming to a close. I feel that at times I may have described this behemoth with less-than-appealing scrutiny on my blog. And that has been entirely unfair. India is so multi-faceted that it’s impractical to describe it without personally experiencing it. It embraces the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor. Luxury rubs shoulders with scarcity. Western media, in general, tends to view India as a disorganized pile of poverty and filth. There’s no denying that India is still a developing nation and thus has its share of hardship and deficiency. But there’s so much more to India than meets the eye.

 As for me, I will miss, in no specific order:

-Blaring Hindi music videos every morning on my TV while I get ready for work

-This music video in particular

-Vegetarian food that actually tastes nice

-Crossing the round-about of doom to get to the train station

-Hopping the fence after crossing said round-about of doom to get to the train station

-Taking pictures of cows and traffic, haha

-Escaping to a swanky mall when the markets become too overwhelming

-Not having to do my own dishes

-Mutton

-Amusing chats on “Office Communicator”

-Throwing elbows with the best of them to get groceries at my friendly neighborhood grocer

-Being greeted outside my gate every morning by a multitude of cows, monkeys, boars, and dogs

-Buying dirt cheap mangoes from the little fruit stall across the street and proceeding to stuff my face with them

-Walking into an air-conditioned office each morning

-Riding to church with the American family while listening to “Skidamarink” and “Do Your Ears Hang Low”

-Clubbing till 4 AM to Bollywood music being played at eardrum-shattering decibels

-Pouring a bucket of cold water over my head when the electricity goes out and I’m dying of heatstroke

-Planning last-minute weekend trips to capricious locations throughout the country

-Paying a dollar for 20 minute head massages

-Jalebis

-Listening to various individuals at work mock my American accent

-Imitating their Indian accent in retaliation

-Laughing about the fact that we are both terrible at mimicking each other’s accents

-Being able to stare at the sun without blinding my eyes because of the layers of smog

-Honing my bartering skills

BARFI. A delightful treat with a not so delightful name.

Bizarreness in Benares

Okay, here comes what I can unequivocally classify as one of the top 5 strangest occurrences of my young adult life.

Varanasi (or as it used to be called, “Benares”), as I mentioned in a previous post, was beyond description. It was the quintessential sensory overload experience. By all accounts, it was the most colorful, chaotic, fantastical city I’ve ever visited. I don’t want to bore you with my continued Indiana Jones anecdotes, but seriously, if ever Mr. Jones really did exist, chances are he would have indubitably ended up here at some point in his swashbuckling life and discovered a secret passageway to a kingdom of exotic tribal cults.

Anyways, the inner crevices of my mind must have somehow audaciously perceived myself as some gallant adventurer/anthropologist like unto Indiana, because during the course of my wanderings along the Ganges River I happened upon Manikarnika Ghat, the primary cremation ghat in Varanasi. Hindu mythology states that those who are cremated here receive moksha (liberation from endless cycles of reincarnation). I’m not well-versed enough in the Upanishad Hindu scriptures to understand this concept entirely though, so I’ll stop pretending like I know what I’m talking about.

Upon venturing through the narrow, twisting alleys replete with tottering buildings covered in peeling, vibrantly colored paint I happened upon crowds of people chanting and mourning. That should have been sign number one that I was in a somber memorial area. And if that wasn’t blatantly obvious enough for me, the flocks of birds soaring overheard should have been a dead giveaway—no pun intended. Perhaps it was the sleep deprivation, perhaps it was the searing heat of an Indian summer, or perhaps it was the fact that I had been inhaling exhaust fumes and incense since I had arrived in Varanasi, but my mind was definitely not on its A Game. Instead of taking all these blatant signs and deducing my own conclusions from them, I continued to meander towards the flames naively thinking, “Hmm, why are there so many bon fires going on here?” And being the nosy inquisitive individual I am, I just had to go investigate.

It didn’t take me long to catch on from there. As I peered into the flames my gaze was met by a pair of hollow openings where somebody’s eyes used to belong. I was staring at a human skull. I jumped back more enthusiastically than I would have hoped, because suddenly I drew attention to myself. Attempting to retain my composure in the midst of a dozen burning bodies, a sadhu (see above picture) approached me and grabbed my hand leading me away from the banks of the Ganges and up a hill of charred timber, mud, and garbage to a teetering, ancient temple. There lied the remains of a smoldering skeleton. Within the rib cage were still a few red glowing embers. Everywhere else was gray ash. The sadhu nonchalantly reached down, scooped up a handful of this ash, smeared it across my forehead, and muttered an incomprehensible string of mumblings before shooting a big toothless grin at me and shooing me on my way with a well-placed pat on my rump.

Bizarre.

Getting Lucky in Lucknow

So, turns out I’m sort of a VIP…at least by association. I arrived at the Lucknow airport with a good friend and coworker at Edelman, Anushka. She’s actually the VIP; I just happened to be traveling with her, which automatically garnered me exclusive status, as well.

We arrived at teeny, but chaotic Lucknow airport and walked out into the swarm of auto rickshaw drivers and cabbies wanting to take me anywhere as long as they could charge me exorbitant foreigner sums of money. In fact, I distinctly remember on The Amazing Race (anybody who has met me even briefly knows of my obsession with this show) when the teams arrived at Lucknow airport they were accosted by these same taxi drivers vying for their money. However, being the faux-VIP that I was, I swooshed right through this throng of body-odor and shouting and straight to an uber colonial looking Ambassador car complete with a siren on top, frilly doilies on the dashboard, and lacey white curtains throughout—an official government ride for the state of Uttar-Pradesh. Mmhhmm.

Anushka’s dad works in a top government position for the state we were visiting, hence all of this specialized treatment. I have never had the door opened for me so many times in my life.

Anyways, Lucknow was great. Anushka, her friend Jatin (who totally seems like he’s in the mafia…even though he’s not. Well, maybe.), and an over-zealous, stocky, sweaty, wheezy, cheery tour guide took me around historic Lucknow. Lucknow is remarkable in that it was, at one point, a Mughal stronghold and thus has a significant Muslim population and exquisite Islamic architecture everywhere. It felt very Aladdin-ish.

I saw a bunch of old buildings full of historic significance that I couldn’t fully comprehend or appreciate to the measure which they perhaps ought to be appreciated. It was cool nonetheless. The highlight was wandering through this absolutely perplexing labyrinth inside the Bara Imambara palace. I felt like I needed a torch, a rugged fedora, and a whip to deter any stray cobras from lashing out at me.  

Another highlight was being blessed by a Hindu priest who was thoroughly high on hashish and thus extremely jovial and welcoming. Inside his sweltering little hut we were given these sweet, chewy, yellow, gooey things and blessed with that fanciful red stuff on our foreheads (pardon my lack of knowledge on proper Hindu rites and rituals terminology). It was a psychedelic experience.

I also ate some gooood food. Lucknow is known for its carnivorous appetite. So, I definitely got my meat fix, which was delicious, but thwarted my heretofore diet of predominantly vegetarian dishes. Lucknow was heartily stocked with kebabs and mutton and tandoori chicken and all manner of fine fleshy cuisine.

I also saw my first Bollywood movie in a theater. And I even understood most of it although it was predominantly in Hindi. The plot wasn’t too intimidating and so I was able to follow it mostly, sans a couple clarifications from Anushka. It wasn’t your typical singing, dancing, tacky Bollywood flick though. It was more of an underground, dark, indie movie about five youngsters who find themselves in a disastrous debacle after a hit-and-run accident. It was sort of I Know What You Did Last Summer meets Crash meets Cellular with just a touch of Bollywood “masala” (click here) thrown in the mix for good measure.

Lucknow also provided me with my first Indian family experience. It was a grand time. Anushka and her family went out of their way to ensure my stay in Lucknow was pleasant. And they succeeded. I probably gained a couple kilos from all the fantastic home-cooked food they fed me. I enjoyed being back in a family environment since I’ve been flying solo during most of time here in India.

So, yes. Yes, I did get lucky in Lucknow.

So, I’m currently tapping away at a set of sticky keys in a crumbling Internet Cafe where a cow (yes, here comes the obligatory cow reference) was just “shooed” out and back onto the serpentine streets of this terribly fascinating, but terribly loony city. I have never in my life experienced anything like Varanasi. It’s beautiful, it’s ugly, it’s exciting, it’s frustrating, and it’s astounding. But more to come on that. I’ve gotta get out of this Internet Cafe ASAP. It’s stifling in here.

On a side note, I feel like I’m walking along the set of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Sikh Savvy?

Last year I took a Religions of the World class at school, which was terribly fascinating. As most of you are obviously aware, I have an affinity for cultures, languages, ideals, and beliefs that are different from my own. During the course of the semester, the one religion that really stood out to me was Sikhism. I appreciate its teachings on living moral lives and discovered many similarities between Sikhism and Latter-day Saint beliefs. Practicing, baptized Sikhs believe in these five articles of faith:

·         Part of the religious duty is to keep every hair intact and unaltered. Men wear turbans to keep long hair tidy. Women wear turbans or long silky scarves.

·         Long hair is groomed daily with a wooden comb.

·         A loose undergarment is worn for modesty.

·         A steel bangle is worn as a sign of faith.

·         Sikhs wear a small sword. It is symbolic of battling the senses. It also signifies the Sikh ideal of protecting the innocent against aggressive forces.

So, as you might guess, being able to travel to this holiest of holy places for Sikhs was a brilliant experience. We entered the temple late into the evening after removing our shoes and washing our feet in this nifty mini-moat surrounding the temple and covering our heads as signs of respect. (Plus, I’ll admit, I felt pretty gangsta sporting my neon orange bandana.) Inside the temple there were, again, throngs of people. However, unlike the frenetic pace and frenzied atmosphere at the Pakistan border earlier in the evening, the mood here was serene and peaceful. Everybody milled around solemnly. Streams of pilgrims from all over India (and even the world) are constantly arriving in Amritsar to experience the sanctity of this spiritual enclave. One of the most interesting aspects of this religion is its gratuitous nature. A principal tenet of Sikhism is charity. Consequently, anyone is welcome to stay at the Golden Temple. Food and drink are freely distributed to worshippers.

We vigilantly stepped over sprawled out, sleeping bodies as we meandered throughout the stunning temple complex, sipped at the fluorescent pink rose water, sampled some of the temple’s freshly made halwa and briefly waded in the holy water or amrit (“immortal nectar”).  Check out this aerial view of the temple to get a feel for its layout. The night trundled along and eventually, around 2 in the morning, the Harmandir Sahib (the central building almost entirely encrusted in pure gold) opened up to allow us to enter the holiest sanctum of the complex. As I was the only non-Indian looking person in the crowd I felt somewhat conspicuous and even slightly intrusive. However, nobody else seemed to mind, even when I made a few obvious blunders like turning my back on the Sikh holy scripture (the Guru Granth Sahib) and bringing my flip-flops onto the temple grounds (granted, they were in my backpack).

The experience was incredible. Even with so many people everywhere, the mood remained peaceful and calming. Everybody spoke in reverent tones and the music being played wasn’t at all harsh or disruptive. I obviously didn’t know how to behave inside the temple, so I attempted to follow suit with what my travel guides did. Upon entering the scripture room I bowed, touched my hands to my forehead, down to the entry way and back to my forehead.

We eventually left the temple around 4 o’clock in the morning feeling refreshed and revitalized (albeit dead tired from a long day of road tripping and border boisterousness). The holiday to Amritsar was absolutely a unique one. I originally had planned to undertake this jaunt solo, but was pleasantly surprised when Ambika, Priyam, and Deepika took pity on me volunteered to come along for the ride. I can’t speak for them, but I had a dashingly swell time. Hopefully they did too.

This New York Times slide show is pretty cool, too.